Thursday 8th January, 2009

What an absolutely terrible terrible day again with Liz. I am so worn out with her constant barrage of negatives and upsetments and anxieties etc etc. She actually said to me today when people come into the office and if they speak to her first then she would be obliged IF I don't speak to them ! I said she was treating me like a 15 year old junior and she said I was treating her like a 15 year old ??? - I said 'NOW we are acting like 15 year olds'. She had already said on my 2nd day there, you ought to look in the trust for another job and see if you can get a transfer as you aren't computer trained!!!! - Today she tells me that she would NEVER have taken the job knowing that there was so much computer work involved. I said 'how are you supposed to learn if no one would take a job which involved computers' and she said 'you go to college' - I kept my cool but gave it to her straight - told her how upset she was making me day in and day out constantly bemoaning me over my lack of experience on the computer, well, Excell and Word - how she puts me down, how she turns things around, I don't want to keep going to the boss but if she won't teach me the job - how will i learn? I said ' YOU HAVE MADE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL SINCE I STARTED HERE' - apart from two days working with her the remainder of the time in 3 weeks she has just critised me and put me down and made me out to be a fraud. I am totally and utterly upset, angry and worn out with this bloody woman, I really think she might be quite mad!

I burst into tears. NEVER have I in 37 years of being at work had arguments on other members of staff like this - NEVER have I in 37 years ended up crying in the office - I've seen other members of staff crying at times and thought 'I wouldn't allow something or someone to upset me at work like that' HERES ME IN TEARS, this woman is so frustrating, so aggravating, so upsetting, she thinks she can say anything she wants to and get away with it. She was very worried when I got upset - I think more than anything else it was because she thought the boss might walk in and see me upset and put two and two together as she had a talking to on Monday- WHY IS SHE DOING THIS. She keeps turning things round and saying that it's me who doesn't want to listen. I listen, I WANT to learn the job. Maybe she just doesn't know how to teach me the job? I just don't know, I cannot afford to give up my job.

Anyway, she asked me to promise not to talk to the boss about this incident and I said I wouldn't unless the boss walked in whilst my eyes were so red and swollen !! WHICH she didn't and I am pleased that she didn't because I was embarrassed about it all, I am embarrassed that at 52 years old I cannot handle this woman, but I have NEVER in my born days come across anyone so difficult as she is. I actually asked her why she hated me so much - she has never apologised to me for the anxieties she's causing me on a daily basis and she said 'I don't hate you, I like you' - WELL I CERTAINLY WOULDN'T LIKE TO BE ON HER HATE LIST IF SHE HAS ME ON HER LIKE LIST.

So tuesday will be the day to see IF she really means what she says and we turn over a new leaf and just get on - and put up with each others difficulties (although I think I might have to go a tad further than she will have to on my behalf) I am such an easy going person - but I will NOT put up with this woman any longer and IF on Tuesday she is really bad again - I WILL Have to take it back to boss lever and maybe even HR.